Saturday, March 10, 2012

I'm Tired

I'm tired of blame.
I'm tired of anger.
I'm tired of labels.
I'm tired of yelling.
I'm tired of arguing.
I'm tired of distrust.
I'm tired of excuses.
I'm tired of sarcasm.
I'm tired of ignorance.
I'm tired of superiority.
I'm tired of mediocrity.
I'm tired of resentment.
I'm tired of accusations.
I'm tired of hurt feelings.
I'm tired of expectations.
I'm tired of the imbalance.
I'm tired of descrimination.
I'm tired of the word wrong.
I'm tired of miscommunication.
I'm tired of being in the middle.
I'm tired of trying to keep the peace.
I'm tired of trying to please everyone else.
I'm tired of having the past thrown in my face.
I'm tired of trying to be nice when I don't feel nice.
I'm tired of spinning my wheels and getting no where.
I'm tired of not understanding, but no one will explain.
I'm tired of jumping through hoops, only to land on my head.
I'm tired of people worrying more about appearance than worth.
I'm tired of being the last one told, but the first one expected to do.
I'm tired of trying for those that don't notice how much is really done.
I'm tired of talking when no one is listening to what I'm actually saying.
I'm tired of being considerate of others, when they don't think about me.
I'm tired of giving all that I have when no one is willing to reciprocate.
I'm tired of the little things that don't matter, but are all that is seen.
But most of all, I'm just tired.

Let me start by saying that everything is fine. Contrary to what you might think after reading the above, my world is NOT in upheaval.  My marriage is NOT in shambles.  My family is NOT in trouble.  It's just that there are some days where the irritation levels get so high, that I have to let them out somehow. This past week has been an exercise in frustration.  Not one big thing, but a lot of little things that compound and irritate, and I remember telling Car Guy that I was just bone dead tired. Sometimes, my sense of humor abandons me and I can't "find the funny" anymore. So I decided to list the things that I was tired of.  I'm sure if I put more thought into, the list would be much longer, but since I already feel better, why belabor the point? It's a great little trick for getting out what ails at the moment. Try it sometime.

8 comments:

  1. Sometimes when we write it down, the weight is instantly lifted off of our shoulders. My coffee mug has a saying on it that is a great daily reminder to myself that I just can't do it all!
    It says, "I may not be WONDERWOMAN, but God made me WONDERFUL!"
    Thanks for keeping it real.
    XXX

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  2. Hope the list did the trick and you are feeling better. Writing for me helps, as does a good chat with a friend.

    Have a wonderful day!

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  3. I feel your frustrations, Melissa. I'm glad getting it out helped alleviate some of the weight. I think so many of us reading this can relate to these feelings. The one I am relating to the most right now is "I'm tired of being considerate of others, when they don't think about me."

    I write in my journal in the mornings, but there are definitely mid-day or evening entries that are nearly illegible because its just me scribbling in a furious or frustrated fit! Papa knows to just leave me alone when this is happening because I NEED it, and after that, I am ready to face the world again.

    Sometimes, though, what I desperately need is to just go to the beach and sit. *sigh*

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  4. Hubby started reading your blog to me before I got to it and we both go.. "Uh oh!" I'm glad you feel better and that everything is okay. We care. ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

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  5. hiya,
    a very good idea to make that list...now that you've shed some of the burden hopefully you'll feel much lighter.
    I read this list quite carefully and have to say that any one thing on it is worthy of being peed off!
    Are you now going to make a LONGER list of the things that make you happy? ;))
    xx

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  6. I hope you're feeling better after list-writing. So frustrating whenever I get to that point! But blogging is such great therapy... Maybe this week will be better?!?! I hope so.

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  7. I am so thankful for this post. I have been beating myself up for feeling so frustrated lately. Sometimes you just have to let it out!

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  8. I'm hearing you, I'm tired too :(
    xoxo Sandi

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