Some days I wonder why I do some of what I do. Is there happiness in the process or is it just routine? Is it even important. I think that once your children are older, and don't need you as much, it's not uncommon for women to question their purpose. Am I only here for a meal...a paycheck...a clean house? Is what I'm doing even matter anymore? What is the purpose?
I know some of my younger friends don't understand this feeling so much. They are young and so full of life and adventure...it's all starting for them. They are looking for that special someone or waiting for that child they've always wanted or raising the little ones they already have. The are just discovering their purpose. What happens when that purpose changes?
That's where I find myself now. Trying to figure it all out again. Wondering...or wandering...not sure which. So much of my adult life has been for my children, and let's face it, I'm pretty much done. Not quite, but mostly. That leaves a hollow spot. It's a bit sad and exciting at the same time. Now I get to do for me. Does that sound selfish? Oh, I hope not.
So this season, possibly my favorite of seasons, brings change in the world around us. A beginning of dormancy and hibernation for some. Hopefully it will be the beginning...an awakening of sorts. Maybe I'll finally get to decide who I want to be when I grow up.
You will never be done parenting, it just becomes a part time job. I really love having the kids on their own and doing things for myself, even though I do miss them. I hope you can decide what you want to be when you grow up!
ReplyDeleteWhat a thought provoking post today, my friend! You are at a fork in the road.. think long and hard at how you want to make the most out of your life and then conquer it! Too many people just plow along the same path and don't question it. Carpe Diem!!
ReplyDelete((hugs)), Teresa :-)
I wish you peace and light as you search and discover, my friend. I have always been a bit of a wanderer, a bit of a searcher. I don't think I yet know what my true destiny is on this earth, so this post resonates with me. I hope you find what you are looking for... and remember, the best thing to fill the empty spaces with is GRACE... even on the journey!
ReplyDeleteMany big [[hugs]] to you my friend! You and I really are soul sister's! I know all those feelings you wrote about and hear you loud and clear.
ReplyDeleteLife is so different now and many days I wonder what now? I have been spending way too much time knitting, bike riding, running, just trying to fill the hours. If you figure out a great plan can I join in? :)
I go through times in my life when I question myself and my purpose, too. I know that I am a little younger (not by much!), and I have yet to experience the purpose that is motherhood. Maybe that's why. Who knows. I hope that you find what you are looking for as you move forward. And, if you ever need to escape it all, come on over to my house! We can figure it all out over a bottle of wine. :-)
ReplyDeleteHugs. Beginnings are good, and I hope whatever your new beginning is will be filled with adventure, fun and love. Good luck finding out what you want to be when you grow up :)
ReplyDeletei bet you have a lot to offer and a lot left to do. it'll take time to settle into this new place but i know that once you're rooted, you'll grow and thrive!
ReplyDeleteIt's hard figuring out who we're supposed to be. Our lives evolve constantly. You're not being at all selfish - you're still a mama, but also you're still you. Good luck in your quest and promise that you won't grow up!
ReplyDeleteLove this post. I'm only at the beginning of this motherhood journey, and it's nice to see what the view looks like from the other side. So helpful for a continual appreciation of the now, and also for looking ahead for what's to come!
ReplyDeleteOooh, Melissa, I can so relate to what you're going through. My kids are not the same age as yours, but I'm definitely going through an earlier stage transition. And it's so tough. I do wonder what my reason for being here is and how I can move forward.
ReplyDeleteI hope you find a new goal and new purpose, and when you do, share it with us! I guess life is an ever-changing thing...
Have fun deciding what you want to be when you grow up :) Enjoy the shift in your mothering role. It's is not at all selfish wanting to do things for yourself. I think it is a reward as such for all those years of love and attention given to our sweet children. Can't wait to see what you get up to. Jacinta
ReplyDeleteI think the wondering and wandering process is a lovely place to be in. If we're committed to growing through life then we get to do it over and over again. I hope it brings lovely new things into your life.
ReplyDeleteOh, deciding what you want to be when you grow up sounds like a hoot! May your restlessness soon be calmed by your passions.
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