Changes

I used to blog. I used to blog on a fairly regular basis.  Now.....well, now I read blogs. "What happened?" you ask? Life got busy. Then it got really busy. Then it got sad. Things happened.  I was having a hard time finding my happy place here. I wanted to share pretty pictures of places we'd go and things I'd make, but it just felt like such an effort and I had to put my efforts else where.  I'm not saying this for sympathy.  I'm not saying this as an excuse.  Sometimes we change life and sometimes life changes us. It's just how things go. And in this process, I lost the filter between my brain and my mouth....or hands, as the case may be. I lost my patience. I knew that I couldn't keep this a happy place, so I didn't want to put it out there.

For those of you who are younger then I am - that would be A LOT of you - life as an empty nester is very different.  Suddenly, you have time on your hands that you don't know what to do with. Sounds lovely, and it sort of is. But it's also sad. You see, this spare time means that you aren't taking care of the kiddos that you put so much time and effort into. And suddenly, you're aren't needed.  Those little people that made you the center of their universe have found a whole new solar system that you aren't even a part of.  It's not that they don't love you.  They still do. But whether they were pushed out of the nest, or they jumped, they are spreading their wings and flying off in directions that they don't want, or need, you to follow.  All I can say is "OUCH."  So those cute boys that I showed you pictures of years ago....they are grown men....or getting there, anyway.

All this put me in a bit of a funk. I got over it. I'm finding myself again....you know the person you were before you became "their mother" or "his/her spouse." And I like her.  She's a lot different than the woman that started this journey. More tolerant, but more opinionated. More thoughtful, but more out spoken. More compassionate, but never a pushover. And those kiddos that didn't need me anymore? Well they found out Mom knows a lot more than they originally thought. And maybe, on occasion, they might need her again...If for nothing else, she can cook!

So I'm going to leave this picture right here....just to show what happens to those adorable kiddos you have.  They grow up, whether you want them to or not. And they do make it home every now and again. And those hugs.....they go from being obligatory to heart felt and that's wonderful.

I may pop back in here every now and then. And things may be a bit different. But that's because I'm a bit different. If you want to see more of what's been going on, pop over to Instagram.  I find that posting a picture here and there is a lot easier than trying to organize my thoughts.

I hope all is well with everyone and may you all go in peace.

Going Back and Moving Forward

Time and space are two interesting concepts.  I try not to bog myself down into them too much because Stephen Hawking, I'm not. But over the last few days, they have been in the forefront of my mind.

Both boys are home.  I love having them home but I think I'm enjoying it more than they are. We are re-acquainting ourselves with the spaces we share. Remembering to respect each others' boundaries and remembering that we stay even after they leave...this remains our home if/when/should they move out. And trying to give them space and privacy because they aren't twelve anymore...regardless of what the occasional bickering might make one think otherwise - who's turn is it to clean the bathroom? Cause their mother isn't cleaning up after them anymore. It's going to be an interesting summer.

Speaking of homes...I have noticed something since we've become semi empty nesters.  My house is now WAY too big.  It was great when the boys were home all the time and their friends were in and out with them. But when it's just Car Guy and me rattling around, it's huge. Downsizing may be in our future.  But there are be so many possibilities in our future that have yet to resolve themselves.  Time will tell.



Another thing that has time kicking about in my head is getting back in touch with a dear friend from my past. She was one of my college roommates. We lived together for 2 years and were always really close.  Then I got married and pregnant years before she did and we lost touch for a while....10 years is a while, right? She came over last night.  We sat out on the back porch, watching the drizzle,  reminiscing and getting to know each other again.  It was wonderful to see that time meant nothing as far as our friendship is concerned.  The days may have passed but it's like we were never separated.  It was fun to point out ourselves in our children too each other particularly when we didn't recognize it ourselves. And it's reassuring to realize that while time has changed us in our place in life, it hasn't changed our deep friendship that was formed so long ago....28 years ago definitely qualifies for a long time ago. The best part of last night was the laughter...that was brilliant! You know the belly aching, tears running down your face type of laughter caused by memories of how silly we were all those years ago when we thought we were so mature?  We got our first apartment together and shared so much.

We've vowed not to let each other slip away again and I know we both mean it. And guess what?!?!?! She knits! Sort of.  As she said, " I've knitted blankets, I just don't know how to finish them."  No problem! You came to the right place.

So please forgive me if I'm just a bit nostalgic. I feel change coming and I welcome the journey as long is it's okay to hold onto to a few things from the past.

Random Catch Up

Not my test knitting.

I've been doing a lot of knitting lately.  I could tell you about it and show you, but then I'd have to kill you....Shhh.....It's secret test knitting...for a designer.  It's pretty freaking cool to do this.

My Palladio

I've test knitted before, for the lovely Jane Richmond. She has some really beautiful patterns and I was able to test knit the sweater pattern for Palladio.  It was loads of fun and the way her patterns are set is absolutely brilliant.  Instead of having all those numbers in parentheses, she has a fill in the blank setup.  I love this because it keeps me from looking at the wrong number. I don't know about y'all, but I have a tendency to get a little cross eyed when I look at all those numbers.

My boys.,...sigh.  They are pretty much grown now. Number One Son is still in college and is twenty-one now...YIKES. He's living at home and struggling with what he wants to be when he grows up. Don't we all? But I know whatever he decides, he'll do it well.  Number Two Son is nineteen and a freshman at UNC Charlotte. He loves it - probably a bit too much - but he's learning and that's a plus. He can't decide between a degree in Math or Music. Did I mention how smart and talented my boys are? (Modest mom...not)

Car Guy is still the same loving, funny constant in my life. He's still restoring the Porsche 914, but it looks a bit different now.

It's back to the original factory color of Irish Green,  We just have to get it back home and put back together.  I know what will be occupying his time this summer. That's fine with me. It gives me more time to relax and knit/crochet/spin.

Hope everyone is doing well.  I'll pop back in occasionally and let you know the progress of things. Until then...take care!

Happy Holidays!!!

I have been absent from this space for quite some time and a lot has happened...some good and some not so good...but that's life. I really can't complain because I've been very fortunate. I've had my health, my family and friends. Seriously, what more can a girl ask for?  So I wanted to take a moment and wish everyone Happy Holidays!  May your future be truly blessed. Hopefully, I'll be back to visit more often.